engulfed in a see of enless work.

i have bean completely swamped with homework, so there is little chance i will be writing in the next week or so. but all hope is not lost! if you all be good little boys and girls, and you do what you are told, i might share with you a prewritten piece created just for these times like these when my muse is being murdered slowly and painfully.

ta ta!

cranes

much lick rouge onion of prefect-grammer , i am making 1000 cranes. i hope to 1) become realy good at making cranes thus 2) increasing my almost non existant oragomi skills. 3) i can have 1000 cranes and thus 4) brag that i made 1000 cranes. and maybe, just maybe 5) i will learn something about myself in all of the monotany.

in other news, It recently occurred to my that my name (ja’son) is pathetically under-represntative of me. So I (in conjuction with others. They will be credited when due) named myself this one. I am going to try and change my name to this officially.

His magnificently whimsicle newfangled autostereogram, ja’son marrowfat pharmacophore the marsupialized murid eating palmiped, high lord chairmen of wibbly strudel in the misty river, grand high master pope of the nova-condenseian order.

Vocabulary and significance (in that order. Defanitions are from the Oxford English dictionary):

Magnificently-- In a splendid or stately manner. Because I am.

Whimsical-- Of persons, their actions, thoughts, etc.: Full of, subject to, or characterized by a whim or whims; actuated by or depending upon whim or caprice. Also a good adjective to describe me.

Autostereogram-- A flat picture or pattern (in later use, esp. computer-generated) which can be perceived by optical illusion as a three-dimensional image when the viewer focuses in front of or behind the viewing plane. Because this name is in two special dimensions, and I am in three special dimensions.

Marrowfat-- A substance like tallow prepared by boiling down bone marrow. Because it is what you get when you submerge me in a vat of boiling water. I know from experience.

Pharmacophore-- The part of a molecule that is responsible for its characteristic pharmacological activity; a pharmacologically active group. To quote Salvador dali “I don’t do drugs, I am drugs”

Marsupialized—to convert an abscess into a pouch by adding a permanent wide opening to the exterior.

Murid—pertaining to rats

Palmiped—webed footed

Wibbly—wobbly. That’s how my mind is.

Nova-condensian—of or pertaining to nova condense.

Breakdown:
His magnificently whimsicle newfangled autostereogram—a honorific that goes before my name. it significance should be obiouse to even the most intellectually challenged reader.

ja’son—frist name.

marrowfat pharmacophore the marsupialized murid eating palmiped—last name

high lord chairmen of wibbly strudel in the misty river—tittle a story of how I earned this will follow.

grand high master pope of the nova-condensian order—tittle. Given to me by Jeremy of jeremy’s podcast .

a dream that i did not have.

i cried to write a dream. this is what i came up with:

I Woke up in the country, and went downstairs. My wife made me waffles and I ate them with a wonderful maple syrup. Then she turned into Isaac Asimov and force fed me bagels. After that, he turned into a policeman, and my surroundings morphed into a jail cell, and the called me a murderer and he hit me with his truncheon. He hit me and hit me and I bled, I bled all over the floor, and there was a pool of blood that covered the whole room and it slowly began to rise, and the police officer drowned in it, and all I could do was watch as I bleed, and bleed, and bleed. Then I flew away and joined a bee-hive, and I busily visited flowers, and made honey. Then a giant hand comes and takes the top of the hive off and then scoops me up, and puts me in another person, and I go about my business, still as a bee, but also as a person. I visit my shop, but no one is there. After some consternation, I look over the counter, and there I am, dead. But it is not me, it is that weird guy, who sits across the road and reeds the news papers, and never does anything. Without thinking, I grab a leg of the table and break it off, and I beet him with it. But as I do so, he turns into my mom, and scolds me for being bad. And then she swallows me up in a hug, and I awaken.

sakes on a plan!

i just read this. there is only one thing to say. wtf lawl rtflmao! on a side note, i am most certainly reading the scotsman on a regular basis. i am also going to try and get it on the list of links that come pre-installed on the school computers.

bgcolor="#03C

i decided to quench your eyes in this nice colour.

towel day 02007

this friday (may 25) is friday! wear a towel around your neck or something. do it. click here for more infos

chicken chicken chicken!

cheese festival video

well, the video for the 2007 seattle cheese festival is finally up! this is taken from my perspective. i strapped a standard digital camera to my chest and used lego to hold down the button. this was stitched together by jeremy of jeremy's blog . a big thank you to jeremy!

warning: large file! use fast internet connection!






2007 Seattle Cheese Festival from Jeremy Ruhland on Vimeo

bgcolor="#f90"

for those who are completely oblivious and live in a fog (or those who are blind, and are reading this with those awesome special text-to-braile converters) i have changed the background color a cool new goldenrod colour.
it looks like this
this makes me feel proud as i did it by editing the html rather than using the GUI provided! w00t!please tell me what you think! please!

winning

a while back, i shared a couple of pieces that i submitted to various competitions. and as it turns out, my fnord poem was accepted to be published. despite what makes sense, this did not make me happy. in fact, this threw me into a bad mood, which i am still in. as far as i can tell, the reason why this depressed me is this: i can't decide if this is my work, i mean truly my original work. i did not invent fnord, nor the discordian (in leu of better terms) meme regarding it. but i am fairly sure i made most of the sentences. i also don't think it is really poetry. other bonuses of publishing include 1) publicity. and 2) i can say i won something. bit the final result is that, rather than jumping up and doing the happy dance of happiness, this award made me sad. i guess we'll see how i feel in a few days (deadline is may 30^th)

in the interim, i strongly encourage you to post what you think about this. is it my original work?

cheesefest

i went to cheesefest today with jeremy of jeremy's podcast along with his mother and younger brother. i strapped my camera rig. this means that (almost) everything i was looking at was immortalized in (digital) film. with any luck, the entire several hours will be up on teh internets soon. (just a fun little interjection, my spellchecker recognizes the word "internets" as correct). more than likely, it will probably be a huge file.

and now, just because i can (post it), a guy (not me) beatboing on a flute! he is amazing!

blog description.

i recently tried to see what the limit is on the blog description at the top of the page. here is what i wrote (and copied some of it form here ) as a note, the limit is 500 characters. what a shame...

the jottings of me.
and now for some special content.
i am going to attempt to see if this box has a limit on the length of blog description.
a description of my ideal job (job irrelevant). the rock and role adaption of "small flowers, mostly daisies, on a giant spinning wheel being crushed, plucked and torn apart by giant rock monsters consumed in flame" to be plaid on a pipe organ, on a rock crushing machine in a serbian open pit mine. now, to completely over do this, the entirety of 99 bottles of beer on the wall:
99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer.
Take one down and pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall.
98 bottles of beer on the wall, 98 bottles of beer.
Take one down and pass it around, 97 bottles of beer on the wall.
97 bottles of beer on the wall, 97 bottles of beer.
Take one down and pass it around, 96 bottles of beer on the wall.
96 bottles of beer on the wall, 96 bottles of beer.
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95 bottles of beer on the wall, 95 bottles of beer.
Take one down and pass it around, 94 bottles of beer on the wall.
94 bottles of beer on the wall, 94 bottles of beer.
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93 bottles of beer on the wall, 93 bottles of beer.
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92 bottles of beer on the wall, 92 bottles of beer.
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91 bottles of beer on the wall, 91 bottles of beer.
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90 bottles of beer on the wall, 90 bottles of beer.
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89 bottles of beer on the wall, 89 bottles of beer.
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88 bottles of beer on the wall, 88 bottles of beer.
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87 bottles of beer on the wall, 87 bottles of beer.
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86 bottles of beer on the wall, 86 bottles of beer.
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85 bottles of beer on the wall, 85 bottles of beer.
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84 bottles of beer on the wall, 84 bottles of beer.
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83 bottles of beer on the wall, 83 bottles of beer.
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82 bottles of beer on the wall, 82 bottles of beer.
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81 bottles of beer on the wall, 81 bottles of beer.
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80 bottles of beer on the wall, 80 bottles of beer.
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79 bottles of beer on the wall, 79 bottles of beer.
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78 bottles of beer on the wall, 78 bottles of beer.
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77 bottles of beer on the wall, 77 bottles of beer.
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76 bottles of beer on the wall, 76 bottles of beer.
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75 bottles of beer on the wall, 75 bottles of beer.
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74 bottles of beer on the wall, 74 bottles of beer.
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73 bottles of beer on the wall, 73 bottles of beer.
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72 bottles of beer on the wall, 72 bottles of beer.
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71 bottles of beer on the wall, 71 bottles of beer.
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70 bottles of beer on the wall, 70 bottles of beer.
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69 bottles of beer on the wall, 69 bottles of beer.
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68 bottles of beer on the wall, 68 bottles of beer.
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67 bottles of beer on the wall, 67 bottles of beer.
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66 bottles of beer on the wall, 66 bottles of beer.
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65 bottles of beer on the wall, 65 bottles of beer.
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64 bottles of beer on the wall, 64 bottles of beer.
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63 bottles of beer on the wall, 63 bottles of beer.
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62 bottles of beer on the wall, 62 bottles of beer.
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61 bottles of beer on the wall, 61 bottles of beer.
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60 bottles of beer on the wall, 60 bottles of beer.
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59 bottles of beer on the wall, 59 bottles of beer.
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58 bottles of beer on the wall, 58 bottles of beer.
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57 bottles of beer on the wall, 57 bottles of beer.
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56 bottles of beer on the wall, 56 bottles of beer.
Take one down and pass it around, 55 bottles of beer on the wall.
55 bottles of beer on the wall, 55 bottles of beer.
Take one down and pass it around, 54 bottles of beer on the wall.
54 bottles of beer on the wall, 54 bottles of beer.
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53 bottles of beer on the wall, 53 bottles of beer.
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52 bottles of beer on the wall, 52 bottles of beer.
Take one down and pass it around, 51 bottles of beer on the wall.
51 bottles of beer on the wall, 51 bottles of beer.
Take one down and pass it around, 50 bottles of beer on the wall.
50 bottles of beer on the wall, 50 bottles of beer.
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49 bottles of beer on the wall, 49 bottles of beer.
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48 bottles of beer on the wall, 48 bottles of beer.
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47 bottles of beer on the wall, 47 bottles of beer.
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46 bottles of beer on the wall, 46 bottles of beer.
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45 bottles of beer on the wall, 45 bottles of beer.
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44 bottles of beer on the wall, 44 bottles of beer.
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43 bottles of beer on the wall, 43 bottles of beer.
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42 bottles of beer on the wall, 42 bottles of beer.
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41 bottles of beer on the wall, 41 bottles of beer.
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40 bottles of beer on the wall, 40 bottles of beer.
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39 bottles of beer on the wall, 39 bottles of beer.
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38 bottles of beer on the wall, 38 bottles of beer.
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37 bottles of beer on the wall, 37 bottles of beer.
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36 bottles of beer on the wall, 36 bottles of beer.
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31 bottles of beer on the wall, 31 bottles of beer.
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30 bottles of beer on the wall, 30 bottles of beer.
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29 bottles of beer on the wall, 29 bottles of beer.
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28 bottles of beer on the wall, 28 bottles of beer.
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27 bottles of beer on the wall, 27 bottles of beer.
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25 bottles of beer on the wall, 25 bottles of beer.
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24 bottles of beer on the wall, 24 bottles of beer.
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23 bottles of beer on the wall, 23 bottles of beer.
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22 bottles of beer on the wall, 22 bottles of beer.
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21 bottles of beer on the wall, 21 bottles of beer.
Take one down and pass it around, 20 bottles of beer on the wall.
20 bottles of beer on the wall, 20 bottles of beer.
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19 bottles of beer on the wall, 19 bottles of beer.
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18 bottles of beer on the wall, 18 bottles of beer.
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17 bottles of beer on the wall, 17 bottles of beer.
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16 bottles of beer on the wall, 16 bottles of beer.
Take one down and pass it around, 15 bottles of beer on the wall.
15 bottles of beer on the wall, 15 bottles of beer.
Take one down and pass it around, 14 bottles of beer on the wall.
14 bottles of beer on the wall, 14 bottles of beer.
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13 bottles of beer on the wall, 13 bottles of beer.
Take one down and pass it around, 12 bottles of beer on the wall.
12 bottles of beer on the wall, 12 bottles of beer.
Take one down and pass it around, 11 bottles of beer on the wall.
11 bottles of beer on the wall, 11 bottles of beer.
Take one down and pass it around, 10 bottles of beer on the wall.
10 bottles of beer on the wall, 10 bottles of beer.
Take one down and pass it around, 9 bottles of beer on the wall.
9 bottles of beer on the wall, 9 bottles of beer.
Take one down and pass it around, 8 bottles of beer on the wall.
8 bottles of beer on the wall, 8 bottles of beer.
Take one down and pass it around, 7 bottles of beer on the wall.
7 bottles of beer on the wall, 7 bottles of beer.
Take one down and pass it around, 6 bottles of beer on the wall.
6 bottles of beer on the wall, 6 bottles of beer.
Take one down and pass it around, 5 bottles of beer on the wall.
5 bottles of beer on the wall, 5 bottles of beer.
Take one down and pass it around, 4 bottles of beer on the wall.
4 bottles of beer on the wall, 4 bottles of beer.
Take one down and pass it around, 3 bottles of beer on the wall.
3 bottles of beer on the wall, 3 bottles of beer.
Take one down and pass it around, 2 bottles of beer on the wall.
2 bottles of beer on the wall, 2 bottles of beer.
Take one down and pass it around, 1 bottle of beer on the wall.
1 bottle of beer on the wall, 1 bottle of beer.
Take one down and pass it around, no more bottles of beer on the wall.
No more bottles of beer on the wall, no more bottles of beer.
Go to the store and buy some more, 99 bottles of beer on the wall.

jericho

Jericho is being canceled! fix this. go forth and sign petitions and the like!

Mothers day gifts

The following is a list of the top ten mothers day gifts (in no particular order)

1 chocolate (untouched by FDA docket number 2007P-0085 ). A classic gift that says “mom, I love you so much I baugh you food. Always a good idea.

2 informing her that you chocolate has bean untouched by FDA docket number 2007P-0085 and that the quality of chocolate in this country could go down, and that you did something about this by going to the FDA’s comment page and told them not to.

3 sole winning lato ticket. Need I say more?

4 the knowledge that you did not crash a boat and drown. The best part about this gift is that you get to share in on the fun!

5 the world. So many people wish they could give their mothers the world for mothers day, but if you get started right now, you might actually concur it in her lifetime!

6 delightful baked goods.

7
egg shells with little plants growing in them. Just take an egg shell, fill with dirt, add seed of your choice, water, watch grow.

8 the gift of laughter. (method and results may vary)

9 make her a grandmother (timing of pregnancy may be difficult)

10 a pirated copy of a movie. Protect her right to free information and gift he a DRM free item. (remember to pay the production company so that you get more of it…)

sumer is coming up, and this raises the question of what i should do over it. i have considered taking up bee keeping, as there is nothing i can think of that could be more fun that taking care of thousands of tiny, little insects, each of which is capable of causing great amounts of physical pain!
and now a petition for information: what are the laws regarding bee keeping in the greater shoreline area? (for those who went "aha! he does live above ground, or else he would not ask, he has enough space in his underground volcano to not need to worry," you are wrong. i could do it underground, but then i would not have the splendid buzzing of the bees when i am in the sun, topside, at the location where my little "elevator" meets the surface.)

historical novella project:plans and summeries.

boring and sopiolar warning: the following has nothing to do with my usual scribbles, and somewhat to do about my life. there are also spoilers. you have bean warned.

my original idea for my novella was rejected by my english teacher, but a couple of modifications make that all better. the rough draft is due on the 6th of june, and i have three and a half weeks to write it. that is about 6 pages a week, so you can expect a fair abount of content commig through here. for those who don't like it, i hope to have other pieces up as well. any how, the following is the plot outline (along with some descriptions) of my novella.

• Introduce Charles Babbage.
• He is a “shady” merchant, who has violated trade sanctions, taxes etc. and deals with shady people who use slave labor etc. to make their products.
• He also supplies certain “hard to obtain items” that are illegal (I’ll have to look up what exactly that is, probably black market sugar, maybe gunpowder, I think Britain still controlled it at that point.)
• He is greedy. He cares for nothing and no one, he is above the law, and does not care the slightest bit about any suffering cased by his practices and products. The only thing that maters to him are his money, and his business, which he built from the ground up.
• While he has not yet done so, he would kill to keep his business going.
• Physical appearance
• He is middle aged, and in good shape considering.
• While he considers his brain to be his cunning and ruthlessness to be his greatest asset, his is fairly good at physical activities.
• He has black hair, and gray eyes
• He is tall (equivalent of six feet nowadays, don’t know average height then) and thin.
• His height is only accentuated by his unusually good posture
• He wears reading glasses.
• His father was a watchmaker, and he was an apprentice under him for several years before opening his own shop. After a year or so he realized there was a lot of money to be made in being a merchant. Over time he realized he did not have to play by the rules. He thus dislikes the cops as they are an added expense for him.
• One of the murders happens outside his shop. The police com and bring all sorts of unpleasantness unto him. This also causes a drop in business. Charles is much displeased.
• Charles has an epiphany and sets out to hire a private detective.
• Introduce Arthur grey. (probably as he finishes an “investigation” for a gang)
• Arthur was a detective until he ran into allegations of taking bribes and was fired from the police force. His wife divorced him and he did not support her (either due to social reasons if there are any, or else because of his lack of money.) she had to turn to prostitution, and was killed by jack the ripper. While Arthur would like nothing else but to catch Jack, he cannot because he must work at all available hours.
• Arthur is the de facto go to guy for law enforcement under ground. Ganges, criminals etc. all come to him if they need to find out who did something. Because of this, he is able to get information in ways not available to the police force.
• Arthur is world weary and bitter. When is ex-wife died it took most of him with it. He has lost everything. He stopped believing in justice, and is only attempting to survive from day-to-day. He stopped caring about his actions, or the consequences the bring, and is not above killing, though he only strikes back in self defense. He no longer cares about honor, merely about getting the job done. He is smart, and has a touch of Sherlock Holmes.
• Physical appearance:
• Tall, but not as tall as Charles. He has dark brown hair, blue eyes, and is frequently dressed in entirely in black or near black. He has a sallow, somewhat forlorn face, with the look of a man who has seen the cruelty of the world.
• Charles hires Arthur.
• The next day Arthur pokes around out in front of Charles shop. This causes some discontent on the side of Charles, as he is scarring potential customers. Arthur will find a scrap of fabric (just enough to find that it is pants).
• Arthur uses some old police contacts to examine the body. He will find a couple of hairs (dark) in the victims hand. He will also get some details about where she worked)
• Arthur will also manage to get some notes on interviews with witnesses to the murder.
• Arthur then realizes that he knows a hit man by the description given (dark hair, whatever the witnesses say). Arthur informs Charles to this, and Arthur goes to talk to him. (The hit man owes Arthur a favor)
• They go to him to find he was a middle man who contracted several hit men (though they may have gone by a different title then) by gangs in a turf war (or other story depending on what would be plausible at the time). He then tells them whom else he hired.
• After interrogating all but one the other hit men (most of which will probably be implied, could get boring “the all said the same thing, let’s hope this one cracks”) our “heroes” head to talk to the last one on the list they have. This one reveals that the middle-man works for the government, and that he (the hit man) is occasionally hired by him (the middle man) to kill discreetly people of interest to the monarchy.
• Arthur and Charles go back to the contractor, and interrogate him again. After a while Arthur tells Charles that he will not divulge information willingly, and that he may need to torture him. Charles has trouble with this, but ultimately concedes to do so. Arthur leaves the room, and tries to block out the screams of pain from the other room. Charles exits room looking spaced out, shocked etc. (might cut that if it is to violent). Charles reveals that the murders where performed for prince eddy.
• Scene in which a messenger. He checks up on the contractor to find him dead. In his final moments he managed to write out a letter (in code) stating that prince eddy’s secret was out.
• code will probably be rot-13 (make all the letters 13 places more. A=m b=n c=o etc. I’m fairly sure that cipher existed then.)
• Introduce an advisor to prince eddy. One of his charges is to ensure embarrassment does come to the prince. His job is to hide his various affairs. He contemplates how difficult his job is as the prince has another prostitute taken into his room. His various musings include how that lady in India (I’ll have to check that) was one thing, but that this was getting out of hand. Common prostitutes could not be trusted to keep a secret. As he muses, the messenger comes in and tells him about the middle man. Enraged he exits the castle (palace, nice building, whatever princes lived in those days).
• Just as the advisor leaves, Charles and Arthur arrive. They begin to pester the advisor with questions. The advisor realizes they are the ones who found out about prince eddy. He takes them to an abandoned room (dark warehouse style) and the do a Q and A (just a Q and A, nothing the advisor will not try to conceal anything). ultimately Charles and Arthur get the whole truth.
• The next day Arthur goes to Charles shop to find him dead. The door closes, and out comes the hit man they interviewed who apologizes, before raising a gun (if impractical to have a gun, a hand will go over his mouth, and a knife next to his throat, then “sorry”).


Things I will need to know:
• Criminal slang from England in the 1800’s
• Where princes lived.
• Divorce status between husband and wife (is it possible to divorce, does the husband pay alimony, etc.)
• Ganges (all possible info.)
• How corrupt the police where (could you get fired for taking bribes like Arthur?)
• Investigative methods of police at the time. (was there any physical evidence, i.e. scraps of clothing, hair etc.)
• What people would have worn at the time.
• What would be common black market items (which if any drugs, imports etc.)

Appeals for help. I can’t make character descriptions. Every time I try I come up with about 6 feet tall, dark hair, pale white skin. Everyone looks like this in my mind.

i will have this okayed or rejected on monday. *crosses fingers*

Delightful pastry shop.

i haven't posted in a few weeks, for which i apologize. i was beset upon by over-zelous teachers, and was swamped with homework the first week. For the second week i was bedridden with a new strain of halitosis, and i spent much of the week recovering. so, without further ado, a new story:

“There is a delightful pastry shop near where I live. It has a picturesque exterior covered in nice, inviting, yellow paint, little pictures of flowers and children, and many other little drawings the bludgeon you over the head with a warm ambience. When one walks inside, welcoming smells of chocolate, yet to be affected by the FDA docket number 2007P-0085 , and apples and berries and so many other delicious things. There is a little display case choc-full of pastries, still steaming and fresh out of the oven, and a little rotating platter of cookies, still warm and gooey from the oven. The people are all so jolly, and happy to serve you, but despite all of these endearing features, it has a dark side.

"This pastry shop exists for the sole purpose of my torment. The real owners are evil, and sadistic, taking great pleasure in causing me pain. They poison their foods so that my friends and family either become raving lunatics, or add “special ingredients” that addict them to their fine, oh so fine, pastries, and will do anything to get more. Right now they yell at me, and do all manner of unpleasant things to me, just to get their next fix of those mouth-watering chocolate cakes, those heavenly pies, with a fruit for every colour in the spectrum (and some for I.R. and U.V.)

"But all is not lost. I have proof that they did this, and all I need to do is take it to the local authorities. I must give it to the authorities.” Said the ding Donald.

“I am the authorities” I told him. “where is your proof that they did this to you.”

“it is behind the…the…” he said, and spoke no more, as his head jerked back, spattering me with blood. I looked up just in time to see a shadowy figure disappearing in the distance.

I cursed the fates, for my tormentors yet again slipped through my fingers. I am jjohn q. smith, the über-detective, and I am on a mission, and cannot be stopped.

illusions

i strongly recommend that you scamper down thither and take a look.

it has been a while since i updated. sorry, i was swamped with homework. i'll try to be more on top of that.

yesterday, i want to an old Comp USA that is going out of business. by this time, they are selling the store fixtures etc. and i could not resist buying a bunch (nine) of these hooks for hanging items on. the top photo is a close of of several of these and the bottom one is a use i found for them. i may very well be posting more uses later on.

distribution of giant african land snails.

found this looking for the natural resources of the african continent (e.g. coal, gold, diamonds etc.)

Spearmint to wintergreen converter.

Gather round the fire, just after sunset, and I shall tell you a story of the evils of the candied man.

Once upon a time, the candied man coagulated yet another eldritch plan. He had long known that spearmint and wintergreen were two very different things, and he longed to change that. The candied man soon realized that this would be a long and arduous task, not to be set upon by any mere mortal. Fortunately for him, he was no mere mortal, as he had a touch of greatness in his heart. At first he set about this quest in a rather haphazard, unorganized way, but a variety of developments* soon forced him to work on this full time. After years of diligent research, he managed to amass enough information to be able to build a prototype model.

His model worked splendidly, at a small scale of no more than a micro gramme at a time. He set about to scale this up, and after many more years of research, managed to make a machine capable of converting up to 5 liters a second. After extorting funding from the Nation Science Foundation, the candied man commenced building the monolithic machine. He was just about to press the switch to start the chain conversion reaction when the entire machine disappeared, as though into the air (78% nitrogen, 20%oxygen, .9% argon, .03% carbon dioxide, 1% water vapor and .002 % trace gasses).

The candied man turned around and what did he find? Nothing! His malafactor seamed to have finished with his machine, leaving him with nothing to show for his many years of diligence.

*these include, but are not limited to: bees, morbid obesity, morbidly obese bees, potato chips, several law suits, and the fact that changing spearmint to wintergreen and vice versa is like saying e=π.

Flooding in my laundry room.

There was no post on Sunday. Here is why.

I live in a relatively small part of my volcano. This is due to a long standing dispute with some gnomes, and in order to keep them happy I live in a small southwestern corner*.

A long time ago, I got a new washing machine for my cloths. Now the new washing machines have narrower wastewater pipes than my home. To solve this mismatch problem, I put a large tub next to my washing machine, and it empties into the tub, which acts as a buffer for the two pipes. This tub accidentally clogged, and subsequently filled with water, then (as most liquid containers tend to do when full) overflowed into the laundry room. When the laundry room filled up, it flooded on a biblical proportion into my television/scrying orb room. The old and somewhat ugly carpet became waterlogged. This then took upwards of four hours of cleaning to rectify. It was not fun.


*south south west to be overly specific.